True Joy

The greatest agony that accompanies the direct experience of God comes when you realize just how coarse and base are the greatest achievements of human attempts at love when compared to the knowing God. How sorrowful it is when you awaken to the realization that people by nature are destined to far excel every great thing that they are capable of thinking or accomplishing. And furthermore, these things have no power to procure for you a gift that is both far beyond you and the real reason for which you were created. It becomes further ironic that having experienced God you realize that your own nature, itself far from having been changed, is still disfigured by your false self. You are still cramped and twisted and continue to turn back in on your self interests. You cannot escape these distortions. And those around you keep putting you back into these compromises and positions. Prayer can become a sickness at these times. You might no longer dare to act. You might become psychologically paralyzed. But it is exactly at this time that you have the opportunity to see life for what it is. You might come to simply accept that your greatest poverty is your greatest fortune. For it is then that we may realize that stripped of our riches, the world truly has nothing to offer, and that as long as we can remain still in the midst of this whirlwind, and that there is nothing that the world can do to mediate this pain, God's companionship becomes the first and only opportunity for genuine joy.