The Capacity To Be Alone

There is a societal fear of loneliness in the West. Indeed, to assert a personal identity is not tolerated. Numerous features in society are designed to foster social dependence: huge stadiums, open work spaces, shared rooming arrangements, clubs, associations, organizations, canned music, shopping venues.

One of the surest indications of the resolution of an identity crisis is an increased capacity for being alone and for taking responsibility for oneself. This process involves the realization that there are decisions in life that a person must face alone; the fullness of one's identity cannot be achieved without some degree of aloneness. Indeed, the more that a person is oneself, the more lonely they become. Only in becoming so is one able to have meaningful relationships with others.

o Lord

my heart is not proud

nor haughty my eyes

I have not gone after

things too great

nor marvels beyond me

truly I have set my soul

in silence

and peace

a weaned child

on it's mothers breast

even so is my soul

o Israel

hope in the Lord

both now

and forever

- Psalm 130

The single greatest indicator of the quality of a person's emotional maturity is represented by their capacity to be alone.

- Donald Winnicott, 'The Capacity to Be Alone'