Self - Part 2

It is through the manner in which we understand our self that we come to accept our place in the world. The problem is that we cannot observe our self directly, but only through the various concrete forms in which it manifests itself, and that even with that we still cannot know the self as an object other than through its manifestations. In other words, we have to look at what we do in order to get a partial picture of what our selves are like. Most people don’t know who they are because they never critically look at how they manifest themselves in the world. Empathy, therefore, is one of the best signs that someone has moved from the selfish state of grandiosity to maturity...a process of titrated disenchantment (Heinz Kohut).

Immaturity is most evident in grandiosity. And grandiosity unanimously accepts, and focuses on, and emboldens, and nurtures selfishness in all of its forms. The movement from grandiosity to a practical, cohesive acceptance of one's place in the world is essential to becoming mature. This is the foundation of the contemplative life and the healthy, direct, and historically based open-door experience of God in the Judeo-Christian tradition.