As It Comes

Sooner or later there comes a temptation for the majority of those who have experienced God in the contemplative life to turn in on themselves. That is to say, that rather than learning to simply wait in obscurity, some demand to see. For these, emptiness runs out of promise. They want to force an outcome...or nudge one along at least. To some degree they want to depend on themselves. They want to trust their own actions and ultimately be their own guides. They return to the sensual and to them helplessness and interior poverty are ultimately foolish. They generally remain faithful to God but they externalize themselves in pious practises and mental decisions and explanations, and they lay ruin the church no matter how well intentioned they may. Their sense of defeat is too overwhelming if they have to wait and to simply accept that the love of God is placed in their hearts by God and that all external practises and the external world itself are created to be a context for them, so that as created beings these may serve to open them up to this love as it comes...and as it comes. Worst yet, they become extremely offended that you even hint at their insincerity. But the history of the church is rife with examples of when those who have most reflected the love of God have fallen under the furious scrutiny of professional, holy people who know nothing but the intractable willfulness of reason.

The light shone in the darkness but the darkness did not comprehend it.

- John 1

I have known this my whole life.